Here I am about to launch my business. The business I have been conceiving, creating, and daring to dream of for months, if not years. I told myself I would launch it the first week of the New Year, 2015. Yet, right after Christmas, I catch what I thought was a cold. I do what I always do, sleep a little more and immediately start taking elderberry, zinc, tea from my acupuncturist, etc. I think I caught it just in time, before it would turn from bad to worse. Yet, four days in, I REALLY get sick. I cancel New Year’s Eve plans and become that sick person you see in cold and flu commercials.
For a good week, my biggest decisions were, “Do I want to nap on the couch or in my bed?”
I was starting to get down on myself for “not doing”, not completing the tasks I needed to complete to launch my business. Then I would have moments where I would remind myself what I have learned, which is nothing good comes out of beating yourself up, everything happens for a reason, and everything happens in Divine Time.
It hit me, my expectations were on MY timeline… Have you ever heard the phrase, “Let go and let God?” We are to set our intention, take action and then turn the rest over to God, don’t force it, go with the flow. When we allow ourselves to “get out of our own way” and allow spirit to guide us, something wonderful happens. Something greater and more magical than our sometimes crazy, hectic, over-crowded brains can even begin to fathom.
Two plus weeks into this viral, “bubonic plague” (ok, maybe I exaggerate..) I start to embrace this is where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing. I resign to healing. However, I still have feelings of guilt, failure, all is lost, the list goes on and on as it can when one is feeling so sick. Yet, once again, I’ve been assuming I know the purpose of getting sick. It clearly must be my fault, it is here to annoy the heck out of me, and to delay what I was supposed to have completed by now. Then a voice of reason comes in. Who’s to say I’m not in this situation for my highest good, to slow me down, to create space for me to explore and contemplate things I haven’t been able to because I’ve been so busy “doing.” …I’m really good at “doing” by the way. I can get more done than most people would ever consider doing in one day. Yet, I’ve learned that isn’t always a good thing. You might’ve heard the phrase, “You are a human being not a human doing.” Wise words.
While recovering from the flu, I’ve had epiphanies, I’ve written new material and text for my website and for my business that wasn’t available to me when I was running around and doing everything, but quieting the mind.
Through my guided sessions with intuitives and from my own experiences, I’ve learned that when we are sick, the body is releasing “things” i.e. mucous, etc. (I’ll spare you the details.. but you get the point.) These things are the toxins, emotions, experiences we have absorbed on a cellular level that are no longer serving us and are in fact, holding us back from further awakening.
I AM grateful I am in a situation where I can sleep and rest as much as I need to. Yet, I also feel insanely guilty about doing so.
It’s a never-ending journey, the path to self-love. Life will offer us opportunities to test what we have learned, to relearn it if we need to, and to strengthen our convictions.
Instead of being the victim, step outside of yourself and look at what is good in your life and your situation, embrace the learnings, give thanks for the guidance, be kind to yourself, and trust the universe has you and is bringing you to a better place.
Did you enjoy this post? Please share the wisdom below. xo